one foot in, one foot out

constantly between worlds,

crashing words and thoughts.

my mother tongue is fleeting my mind,

but i can’t make sense of the new kind.

home used to be moderate seasons,

now it’s turned to extremes.

i find myself back to yearning,

for a place that doesn’t exist;

a place i used to be me,

with no sense of who that is.

i feel lost when i can’t see.

my reflections don’t show me a thing.

i’m not ever fully here,

lost in thoughts about the previous years.

things out of my control, control me.

bitter hopefulness, where’s my meaning?